Friday was a day of revelations. College was brilliant and afterwards I had an epiphany. I realised why I was really doing this course. I am a mother of two beautiful children with my own business. On Friday's I 'work from home' but the reality is 50% of the time I need to go into the office. This means we have a full-time, daily nanny (the lovely Kerrie).
If I'm honest when I am at home on Friday's I feel like a spare part. The children and nanny have their own routine and their own set of friends who I don't know. I've increasingly struggled with what to do with myself when I'm 'working from home' which with two young children is impossible anyway. When I found this course on Friday mornings it seemed serendipitous.
The guilt of deliberately going out when I feel that I should be spending time with them is overwhelming, but equally I feel its unfair to dip in and out of their weekday routine at my own whim and convenience. It seems so selfish.
So here I am. Lonely. Guilty. Inadequate. Insignificant. Being a parent is such a big job but at times it can make you feel so small.
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